Eurgh. I have to teach P5 Health Ed. I only looked through the Activity Book yesterday morning right before my first lesson with the class and I literally screamed out loud! I have to teach... PUBERTY!!! OMG!!! I could have died right there and then! It's not even one of the last few units (when I'm much more comfortable with the class and vice versa) BUT it is THE FIRST unit! Like how can I walk into a new class and start talking about... about... that! Gah. I can just imagine the scenario.
me: Good morning boys!
class: Gooooood..... mooooorniiiiiiiing..... Miiiiiiiss..... Paaaaarveeeeeeen.....
After some mandatory introductions, setting of rules etc...
me: Turn to page 1 of your Health Ed books. Today we will be discussing a topic which everyone of you will eventually go through, if some of you are not already going through it. Now, what is puberty?
Bloody hell. The ground might as well open up and swallow me whole. I was panicking; I had no game plan. I sucked it up and walked to class. I figured the boys would be just as traumatised as I was. And I was right. I was completely honest with the boys and shared with them that I've never discussed / talked about puberty with anyone before. Let alone teach it. They seemed to be a bit more at ease, knowing that I too was not at all comfortable and we joked around a little with the topic. I wanted them to be at ease with me and be comfortable enough with me for them to possibly share what they are going through. Boys are mean and I'm certain they would not want to talk about puberty with their peers.
So far so good. I take pride in being an excellent story-teller and they were listening eagerly to my tales of growing up or the lack of, if you get my drift. I felt I gave a good first impression and didn't make a complete ass out of myself. Hey, PUBERTY hor... you try talking about THAT in front of a bunch of 11-year olds.
But it wasn't over. That was Monday and I had another class on Tuesday (today). Now this is a better class as compared to the previous one. Since I did remarkably well at that one, obviously it'd be way easier in this better class. What I didn't count on was how eager the boys were for my arrival. I was waiting outside the classroom and when some boys noticed my presence, I could hear them whispering Hey, it's Ms Parveen! She's finally here. Quick quick... Ms Parveen's here already etc etc... Oh boy... dragons in my stomach... yes, fire-breathing, big-winged creatures were flying about in my stomach. I was even more nervous than the previous day!
I stepped in and almost immediately the class started shouting MS PARVEEN! YOUR SON IS HERE! LOOOOOK! You see... Kieran... my Day 1 Musical son's in that very class. I adore him but I didn't want to make it obvious to the class... but they ruined my plan... gah! I couldn't help grinning at their display and the poor boy's scarlet red face! I turned to the class and simply said to them, "I had a plan. I planned to walk in with a serious expression on my face and YOU ruined it. I'll try again." So I did. I walked out and walked back in, putting on my best "serious" look. I could see the boys stifling their laughter and I applaud them for being such good sports!
This class seemed more eager to listen to me than the previous one. I guess because more of them know me as compared to the other class. I shared stories, told some jokes like what I did in the other class. I noticed, however, that this class was a lot more squeamish with the topic. Some protested and wanted to skip the unit entirely! I must really think about my Health Ed lessons to cater to these two classes.
Oh at the end of my class... I ended with this... It is every Mother's duty to discuss the topic of puberty with her son... and I turned to look at Kieran. The class roared with laughter!! My son? He beamed at me before turning scarlet red again. The poor boy... hmmm... poor boys, actually! They have ME to get them through this stage of their lives. Sigh. Why not a male teacher? Or even a married teacher?? Or a REAL mother???
