DinDin with Leng & Family

All I need to perk up my day and make me feel good again is meeting up with my extended family - Leng & Family. I love Leng with all my heart and I am glad that she is in my life.

It was a simple dinner at an under-rated place. I love the Sakura at Sengkang's Compass Point. It serves above decent local food at affordable prices. What makes the place special is that it hardly is crowded even during the weekends. Like I said, under-rated.

Shopping Frenzy

Ooooh... I just bought a whole bunch of material and I cannot wait to tailor them! Shereen told me about this place that does ready-made saris and I must say the stitching looks fantastic! So I went down to Little India with my mum and aunt and we got ourselves some material and made our way to that tailor. It's Deepavali soon so we couldn't give everything to the tailor but I got my measurements done for the sari I'm using for Saras' ROM. I'll be collecting it in about 2 weeks and I cannot CANNOT wait! Yay!

I Can and I Will

I felt so mean completely faking my enthusiasm for the dinner just now. But it was for the greater good. They want me to play nice, I can and I will. I even shocked myself how good I was. I almost believed the role that I was playing.

Thing is, this won't be the last time. I am pretty sure that I will have to play nice, again and again. For how long more, I do not know. But just to keep the peace in the house, I will do my part. I really hope this pays off somehow.

The Saga Comes to an End

Last night, Jeeshan and I spoke to each other and in the eyes of those present (Siraj & Daddy), you could say that we cleared the air.

But a part of me is still confused and skeptical about last night.

Is it possible that after all the things that were done and said, that things can go back to normal ie back to when we were close? Because right after that, he enters my room and starts talking about movies and music. For me, that seemed too quick for me. I needed to digest whatever's just happened and erase the bits of memories of the saga from the past 8-9 months. Or is it just me with the problem?

The frustrating thing for me is that I'm not even sure why I feel confused and skeptical. Apparently, he was already giving me the cold shoulder prior to the hospital incident. Then by the time it came to that, he felt that there was a communication breakdown between us and he didn't know how to get to me / communicate with me, that he just continued with the cold shoulder treatment. I have no recollection of that nor did I ever notice that there was a communication breakdown between us prior to the hospital incident.

It just doesn't make sense to me. He said that as my brother, he's never stopped loving or caring for me, but why then did he do and say all of those things to me? I don't think we tackled the issue of respect because I strongly feel that that's the main issue and that's why he acted the way he did the past couple of months. Or is it just me with the problem?

I think of last night and I have more questions than answers.

Hari Raya Revelations

People have gotten today all wrong. Yes, it is a day to seek forgiveness from your elders and from those whom you have wronged but do you have to wait till today to actually apologise to them? If you've made a mistake and you know you're in the wrong, why can't you just apologise at that very instance of revelation. Why wait.

What got to me was that I received an apology from someone and the person even managed to tell me exactly when the mistake occurred and what the mistake was. Mind you, this mistake occurred MONTHS ago. Why wait so long to apologise especially when you realised that you were in the wrong and you knew it all along. I have no qualms with generic apologies but to be so precise and specific about 1 incident, now that's just unhealthy.

It gets worse. I was explaining to someone how I feel that the word "sorry" holds no value and therefore people abuse it. An apology does not solve any of the inherent problems the quarreling parties may have. The issues need to be addressed in order for the parties involved to move on. I don't see how saying sorry can mend the relationship without addressing why they were arguing in the first place. I'm not saying that apologising is irrelevant, it just shouldn't be the only solution.

The person laughs and says that it doesn't matter because we are all human anyway and we will make the same mistakes over and over again. I was appalled. No wonder we live in such a dysfunctional world. We make mistakes and then apologise knowing fully well that we will make that very same mistake again. Why the hell apologise in the first place?! The apology is to serve the purpose that you are telling the other party that you respect them and that you would not repeat the mistake! Even my P2 kids can tell you that! I've overheard a conversation where one of them apologises to another for shoving him. The other kid turns around and very calmly says, "Each time you shove me, you apologise. Why apologise when you're going to make the same mistake again." 8 years old, imagine that.

We Live In a World Filled with Idiots

This seems to be the running theme these past few months.

I refer to the recent news of Pastor Terry Jones' claims of wanting to burn the Quran on 9/11. Now, he must be (one of) the biggest idiots alive today. How can he possibly think that burning a holy book will solve anything? It will only prove what a giant jerk he is. For an adult, he really is very immature and short-sighted. His claims only provoked more anti-US sentiments, causing a greater rift between Muslims and non-Muslims which has resulted in many casualties and the deaths of protestors. What is he trying to prove by engaging in such an act? He claims that Islam is fascist and a pro-violent religion. And the Christian way is to burn a Quran? What an idiot.

What I don't get is why the US isn't doing anything to stop this lunatic? Other countries ban such acts and they would act swiftly to ensure that the culprit is silenced before he can further spread his hate and malice. What we have now is other churches hopping on the bandwagon protesting that if Jones' church won't burn the Quran, their church will. I mean, Terry Jones is but one man, how difficult can it be to silence him? But to allow him to shoot his mouth off to the world and allow his words to ignite anti-Islamic sentiments and spark off all these riots and protesting, is just idiotic!! They should have just clammed him up before he made matters worse. Pay him a visit and scare that coward so that he'll shit in his pants.

Spend Time with Positive People

Life will always throw you curveballs. That is a constant that can never change. So the most you can do is to prepare yourself for when shit hits the fan. Some of you may say that I am cynical but I believe that I am just being realistic. Which is why people who are constantly smiling are liars! But that is a discussion for another day.

What I wanted to tell you is that since things won't go your way most of the time, it is vital that you surround yourself with positive people, who have your best interests at heart. Misery loves company after all and why torture yourself by being around negative-soul-sapping individuals. They'll make you feel worse and not provide you with the moral support and encouragement which you need to help you pull through your trying moments.

Which is why I am thankful that I have my NIE mates. It's been 6-7 years since we've graduated but we're still close albeit not meeting up that often. Each meet up, however rare, truly brings me such joy which words cannot describe. That says a lot, coming from a language person.

True friends do not judge but are forgiving, accepting and compassionate. Most importantly, true friends are loyal. They are my true friends and I love them with all my heart.

They Are So FULL Of Themselves... and shit

I cannot believe that they are angry with me! I had to take boys out for a competition and they were mad because they travelled all the way down to school to take me out and because of my CCA, they couldn't. So it's my fault that they made a wasted trip.

What a bunch of brats.

How am I to know that they were going to take me out if they do not inform me of it beforehand? Even when they came down, there was no mention of an outing. At least all the other kids informed me the time that they were coming down to visit as well as asking if I were free to hang with them. It's called being courteous. I cannot assume that they will come down to see me and then take me out. What if they don't? I'd feel like such a loser and it's my freaking day and I will not be made to feel like crap.

It's completely their fault for not informing me of what their plans are. Even if it's a tradition (or so they claim), I have a life and I cannot just drop what I'm doing just for them. Not anymore.

In other news, the celebrations yesterday were mediocre. The skits were amateur-ish and very slapstick. Yes, I can put up a better performance with my boys but no one asked. The special programme for teachers was a complete farce! They served cocktails and peanuts! Hah! They turned part of the school hall into a freaking bar! They even got a bartender to do some tricks. But myself and a few other Muslim colleagues walked out because honestly, how insensitive can they get? It's the fasting month, you morons. It was not just food and drinks that you displayed in front of us, but alcohol as well?! Morons.