Signs of Ageing

I am in so SO much pain. I played badminton with the boys and that lasted less than 2 hours and now I am in pain. Heh. I feel like someone hit me all over with a bat. I didn't feel anything at all till much later, after my nap. This should be a lesson for me to exercise regularly but nah... I doubt I'll do anything about it, exercise-wise. I am such a sloth.

Style Me Poor

Watching The Style Network is going to make me a poor person. Well, at least I'll look fabulous!

My T-Shirt's Here!

Here's what I got in the mail today! I'm so happy it's finally here!

Hahaha... I know... I'm such a geek, right? Anyone who has ever studied / dabbled in Physics would know that mass times acceleration equals to force. I had to get this t-shirt when I saw it! But using scientific knowledge and a Star Wars quote does exemplify my geekiness. Oh well. Geeks FTW!!

If You Want to Sell the House, You've Got to Mow the Lawn

Let 'Er Rip!!!

The following post contains information of a private matter of a private area. If you are not comfortable with talk of female genitalia, please do not continue reading.

My dear cousin of mine FINALLY plucked up the courage (consistent theme this month, don't you think?) and mowed her lawn. She opted for the all-off, which in my opinion, is the best choice for a first timer. If it's your virgin (so to speak) experience, might as well go all out, no?

She was absolutely terrified! I had to talk her through the experience and prepare her for what's to come. Coincidentally, I had mine done and she was going to get hers done in an hour or so, so she needed some advice.

I'm chicken-shit. There is no denying that. So for me to pluck up my courage and get a brazilian is A BIG DEAL. Holy shit. I still recall my first time. The thing is, NEVER do research before hand. I read literature and watched videos about people's experiences after their first waxing. Huge mistake. I got scared. Or should I say, *cold fear gripped me. There are all these horror stories out there and even Sex and the City did not help to dispel the fear. Thanks SJP! You'd let me down... still love you heaps though!! How can a brazilian be terrifying, some people have wondered. Well, if anytime someone's yanking hairs from below, trust me, it'll hurt.

Back to the horror stories. From my extensive internet research, I had gathered that you have to get down on all fours and you'd have to raise your leg as if you were a dog peeing on a tree. Or you lie on your back and the therapist would push your legs over your head. That is not a comfortable position. It gets worse, you'd then have to spread your butt cheeks (my what!?) while she'd apply hot wax to my most intimate crevice. *Beads of perspiration trickled down my face. There is no way in hell I'd be rushing in eager anticipation to experience something like that. I mean, a total and complete stranger (wo)man-handling me down there!! What was I even contemplating?

But I was curious and I was getting sick and tired of mowing my own lawn. I am not flexible. Enough said. I plucked up my courage and called Strip. Then I had to wait till my appointment date arrived. It is true, the anticipation of death is worse than death itself.

I won't go into the details of the experience but I do want to declare to you that the experience was in fact, bearable. I'd admit that ripping the hairs off at the top hurt like a mother. I even contemplated walking out with a half-done waxing job. At that moment, I saw stars and hated myself for ever talking myself into getting a brazilian. But I sucked it up and let her complete the task. That was the hardest and most painful of all the locations. The rest were barely noticeable. It's not so much the pain but the shock and force that you experience. My therapist (Queenie) was very experienced and knew what she was doing. I felt safe in her hands. Literally.

Oh, I didn't need to get on all fours nor did I have to be in any compromising positions. Pppfffttt! Liars. And the back? I didn't even feel a thing. And get this, after everything was done. I felt different. I literally felt like I was a new me. It's hard to explain but quoting Eva Longoria, I felt like Angelina Jolie. I walked out of the outlet, grinning and with a skip in my step. I felt confident, alive and not to mention brave. I had to quell the urge to show off my badge of honour as I like to call it. And I've never looked back. I make it a point to get it done regularly and each time, I feel empowered. Plus, it hurts less the more you go. Like last night, I could hardly feel a thing. I am hardcore! Hehehe.

Oh, my cousin felt the same way too and now she can't wait for her next time. Am I good or what? I should SO focus on world domination. Well, it's not like I've not thought about it *wink-wink*

*phrases stolen from my boys' compositions. It was a mad rush to mark their compos and return it to them to revise over the weekend. Eurgh.

Stupid Active Volcano

My brother was supposed to fly in next Saturday but his flight's cancelled. All thanks to Eyjafjallajokull.

I miss him so much and I was looking forward to his visit. Not even this joke...

What's the difference between the Icelandic volcano and Cheryl Cole?

The volcano's still blowing ash.

...could cheer me up.

Change Is Inevitable but Must It Turn Out This Way?

"Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts.

Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class.

Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka.

Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex.

Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?

When protection meant wearing a helmet?

When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties?

Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and Mom was your hero?

Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest.

War was only a board game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine.When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut.

The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

And we couldn’t wait to grow up?”

Withdrawal Symptoms

I have yet to get over BNO... yet to get over Muse, to be exact. I'm listening to Paramore everyday to get ready for March 7th but I have this crazy urge to switch albums from Brand New Eyes to The Resistance each time. Eurgh. How like this? I've been YouTube-ing for videos on BNO in Singapore just to relive the concert. I am indeed a sad case.

Green Day had endurance but Muse had presence. It was truly an epic performance and an unforgettable experience. I still get goosebumps when I listen to the tracks. GOOSEBUMPS! Plus, I have caught myself on too many occasions humming their songs to myself. I need professional help.

I found this video. I am so making my kid learn to sing the song too! True story. CLICK. I love that little jiggle she does when the rift gets heavier at the beginning. And she says she wants to pee but still sings anyway. And and the pout she does when she goes "oooh-oooh". I need to be sedated.

To My Not-So-Secret Stalker...

Coz I know you're reading this... and you know I like teasing you... a whole lot...

HI KIERAN!!!

We Don't All Love Barney

Not Barney Stinson. Everyone should love him. He is LEGEN...wait for it...DARY! *grins* I am talking about the purple dinosaur. Yes, I cringed too.

WARNING: This is not for the faint-hearted or the immature or the easily influenced. Some of you may get offended with the contents of this entry. I just want to say that you have been warned and I shall not be blamed for the effects of what you are about to read may cause.

I will first share with you a video. It at first seems harmless; I mean IT is teaching not to let the water from the faucet run when one is brushing the teeth. But focus on the actual action of the brushing and what the poor boy was made to mime. To be more specific, how he mimed the action. If I were him, I'd join a witness protection program and dye my hair. CLICK.

Then there's this (below) which I don't find to be funny at all but it is obvious that whoever "discovered" the finding has no life. Yes, I use the word discovered very loosely. But I am generous, so I will share it with you, nonetheless.

1. Barney is well-described with the following phrase:

CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR

2. The old Latin alphabet used the letter 'V' in place of 'U', therefore the above phrase is modified to:

CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR

3. Letters that do not represent Roman numerals are removed:

CV-- -V--L- DI----V-

4. Add up the Roman numerals of the remaining letters:

C + V + V + L + D + I + V

100 + 5 + 5 + 50 + 500 + 1 + 5 = 666

Yea. Whatever *rolls eyes*. Now what I have to share with you next, will keep you entertained for hours on end. I know I was.

(sung to the tune of the original)

I hate you, you hate me,

Let's all go and shoot Barney.

With a gunshot, BANG BANG, Barney on the floor.

No more purple dinosaur.

I love you, you love me,

Homosexuality.

With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you,

Don't you know we're lesbians too?

Don't take it to heart. This is meant to be light-hearted and I am just poking some (more like "alot of") fun at the creature. I take no credit for the above songs, they're like campfire songs I heard from the day.

Check with your BFF (Google) and you'll find tons more!

It's Easy to Be My Friend

You must

• love durian... not like / I'm okay with it... but LOVE
• NOT listen to one genre of music... unless it's rock
• be able to quote random lines from Star Wars & LOTR
• be able to laugh at me and at yourself quite often
• NEVER speak to me when we're watching a movie together in the cinema

This is obviously a work in progress.

Customer from Hell

I finally managed to find the time to visit City Square Mall today. It is huge! It took me approximately under 3 hours to cover every level and about every retail outlet they have. I didn't need to enter any food outlets and I barred myself from entering any shoe outlets. I don't need to explain further for the latter. On a side note, I bought these killer white heels (2 pairs, thus "these") from DMK and they are fabulous! How fabulous, you ask? Bless you to those who asked and to those who didn't, a big PPPFFFTTT to you. They are so fabulous that you can pair them with practically anything and they still can jazz up the outfit. My favourite is of course, a short dress, full black leggings and the heels. I feel empowered with the heels. Sigh. The number to SAA (Shoe Addicts Anonymous), anyone?

New shopping mall and all I bought was one blouse. Everything else was just bland. Who shops at Giordano anymore? The prices at Metro are crazy even with the member card, so I just waltzed through the 3 levels. The one store that I got the blouse from... now, the sales assistant was just trying to get me to buy everything from the store. I was alone so I didn't have any back-up. I like shopping alone, not because I don't have any friends, but I find it to be more efficient and I actually spend less. Plus, shopping alone allows me to really look at the clothes on display. That is a tad impossible to do when you're out with your friends. You'd be chatting with your friends and not glancing into the stores as much, thus possibly missing out on great deals. My point is that I like to shop alone.

As I was making my purchase, she proceeds to throw on the counter the inner piece of the blouse (which comes at a separate charge) and I immediately told her that I have a similar one at home (I of course, do not) and she looks at me bewildered. Her colleague comes along, they have a discussion and I hear something like she doesn't want to buy this... you talk to her... so she tries to convince me that the inner piece is the latest design, very sell-able, it's the last one left blah blah blah... I tell her that I've a similar piece and she's smarter than the other one, she calls my bluff. Oh, you have one? Is it the same length? I'm sure yours is shorter.

This broad is not giving up. I wanted to flee so badly. I felt so cornered. I just shook my head and waved my hand away, probably expecting to use mind control on her. Then they try to get me to purchase another dress in a similar style and they kindly provided a few belts that would go really nicely with the tops. Again, I tried to Jedi mind trick them. Their minds were not weak enough. I did manage to eventually leave the store with my one purchase though. But not without the dejected looks on their faces. This time, walking away, I didn't feel any guilt at all. I am a hardcore shopper.

The Real World Is So Tough To Live In

It is not easy maintaining 2 blogs. I either neglect one or the other. I do try to update this often, believe me. Sometimes when I'm out, I get this really good idea and I key it into my iTouch. But when I get home, I question if you would really bother reading it. So I scrap the idea. Or, I have a conversation with a friend, we start debating a topic and it's got my mind racing and I want share the opinions with you, then when I do start on the entry, I question if it would bore you with its heavy content. Then there's always some crazy antic that I get myself into and I know you would love reading about it but there's no way I can censor the content (the people involved read this blog / the people reading the blog know the people involved / crazy is an understatement etc) so I again, scrap the idea. Which leaves you with reading my ramblings most of the time.

I promise to have better material the next time! It's just that, life's pretty smooth sailing right now. Nothing is bugging the hell out of me nor causing me enough grief to lament about it over here. Plus, I am too involved with tending to my virtual fish tank to bother about the outside world. Yes, my virtual fish tank. I started playing FishVille about 3 days ago and I am an addict. I wake up at odd hours in the morning just to feed my virtual fish. I am a sad case. I'm so glad people are getting married / engaged or I'll never leave the house!!

I'm Such A Retard

There I was with Mum, watching Menopause the Musical. At the end, the guy next to me looks at me and smiles. Out of politeness, I smile back and then I look away. He continues to look at me.

Him: Are you Parveen?

Me: Uhm. Yes. (Looks at him quizically)

Him: Parveen Begum?

Me: Yeaaaa.... (By now a million thoughts are running through my mind)

Him: It's me! Justin!

And that's when it hits me. A million thoughts were running through my mind and yet none of them stopped to ponder if I actually knew the dude. It was Justin! My Justin! We were best mates back in secondary school! Same class... same CCA! We were inseparable. There we were, seated right next to each other! What are the odds of that happening?!

But ditzy me could not even recognise him! I looked him in the eye and smiled at him and yet I didn't recognise him. Sigh indeed. I can sense you shaking your head at me. Did we have a good laugh at that... me still smiling at strangers after all these years. Guess some things don't change.

But bloody hell, it was just marvellous to see him again! We literally hugged the air out of each other. I miss him so bloody much. I hate him for leaving the island and for leaving me :( I didn't think I'd ever see him again and there we were... after so long, we sat through an entire musical together, not knowing we were right beside each other.

That can only happen to me.

I'm So Predictable

I just re-tagged a bunch of my posts... have to differentiate between Them Boys and Deux. Whilst looking through the posts, it struck me that I have the EXACT same title for 2 blog posts - I Won't Let This Build Up Inside Of Me.

It gets freakier. The posts are about the SAME person... mentioning the EXACT same thing.

*cue horror theme* The posts are 3 months apart... to the EXACT SAME date!

I shit you not, dearest readers.

Check it out, if you refuse to believe me. CLICK.... and then... CLICK...

Or... I just need new material. Heh.

Daddy's Girl?

Mummy found a photograph of me in my dad's wallet. *giggles*

There were laminated photographs of the brothers around the house and in Daddy's shop la...

BUT, but who's the one in the wallet, which is carried around daily? MEEEEE!!!!

Pseudo Star

Not good. Not good at all. Apparently my videos are circulating in schools. Cedar Girls, Montfort and Cat High have seen them. But they were taken ten years ago! I was young and naive and I didn't know any better!!

Before you get the wrong idea, I partook in some MOE videos willingly and I was paid a handsome sum for each. Unfortunately, I have not seen them at all. I was promised a copy but they lied to me...

Doctor's Orders

I went to the doctor today and she gave me 2 days mc because I am sleep deprived. She literally told me to sleep during this long weekend. Sleep! Don't think about work, just sleep.

Why I Need to Nap ASAP

I read through all my posts and tagged them appropriately and I feel so much better now. I may be partially autistic on top of having mild ADHD. You know, I've never heard of any of those terms until I started teaching... must be something in the water. Kids were normal back then and we always attributed bad behaviour to well, just bad behaviour!

Yesterday's outing got me thinking that Them Boys treat me like a brand new toy that everyone wants a piece of. It's neither a compliment nor an insult but it helps me to explain why they do the things that they do. I love them so much, nonetheless.

Sharing is Caring

Sometimes one must really sit down and talk to your monsters. Get it all out... off of your chest... whatever. Just do it.

I feel so much better. I suggest you do the same too.

The key is to be honest to yourself. No holds barred... just tell it like it is... alright?

7-Eleven Game

I can't believe I forgot to mention this! Thanks Shu Yu, for your post!

I read in Lonely Planet that Taipei has numerous 7-Elevens spread across it. I mean, seriously, how many CAN you have? Boy were we in for a shock when we made our way to our hotel. In every street, there were at least 2! Some were situated right opposite each other. A rough estimate would be one 7-Eleven at every 300m. Even when we went up a mountain, there was one there! Our guide (one of our many) told us that Taipei has around 7000 7-Elevens. Yea.

I came up with a game, which I believe will take Taipei by storm. Play this, if you're travelling with friends. For every 7-Eleven you spot, smack your friend. It's that simple. Of course there are rules, like no premature slapping (you get smacked 3 times as punishment). Oh and it's a purely transportation game. Meaning, you can only play this game when you're on a bus, train, car, taxi etc.

MY GAME WILL TAKE TAIPEI BY STORM!!!