Let 'Er Rip!!!
The following post contains information of a private matter of a private area. If you are not comfortable with talk of female genitalia, please do not continue reading.
My dear cousin of mine FINALLY plucked up the courage (consistent theme this month, don't you think?) and mowed her lawn. She opted for the all-off, which in my opinion, is the best choice for a first timer. If it's your virgin (so to speak) experience, might as well go all out, no?
She was absolutely terrified! I had to talk her through the experience and prepare her for what's to come. Coincidentally, I had mine done and she was going to get hers done in an hour or so, so she needed some advice.
I'm chicken-shit. There is no denying that. So for me to pluck up my courage and get a brazilian is A BIG DEAL. Holy shit. I still recall my first time. The thing is, NEVER do research before hand. I read literature and watched videos about people's experiences after their first waxing. Huge mistake. I got scared. Or should I say, *cold fear gripped me. There are all these horror stories out there and even Sex and the City did not help to dispel the fear. Thanks SJP! You'd let me down... still love you heaps though!! How can a brazilian be terrifying, some people have wondered. Well, if anytime someone's yanking hairs from below, trust me, it'll hurt.
Back to the horror stories. From my extensive internet research, I had gathered that you have to get down on all fours and you'd have to raise your leg as if you were a dog peeing on a tree. Or you lie on your back and the therapist would push your legs over your head. That is not a comfortable position. It gets worse, you'd then have to spread your butt cheeks (my what!?) while she'd apply hot wax to my most intimate crevice. *Beads of perspiration trickled down my face. There is no way in hell I'd be rushing in eager anticipation to experience something like that. I mean, a total and complete stranger (wo)man-handling me down there!! What was I even contemplating?
But I was curious and I was getting sick and tired of mowing my own lawn. I am not flexible. Enough said. I plucked up my courage and called Strip. Then I had to wait till my appointment date arrived. It is true, the anticipation of death is worse than death itself.
I won't go into the details of the experience but I do want to declare to you that the experience was in fact, bearable. I'd admit that ripping the hairs off at the top hurt like a mother. I even contemplated walking out with a half-done waxing job. At that moment, I saw stars and hated myself for ever talking myself into getting a brazilian. But I sucked it up and let her complete the task. That was the hardest and most painful of all the locations. The rest were barely noticeable. It's not so much the pain but the shock and force that you experience. My therapist (Queenie) was very experienced and knew what she was doing. I felt safe in her hands. Literally.
Oh, I didn't need to get on all fours nor did I have to be in any compromising positions. Pppfffttt! Liars. And the back? I didn't even feel a thing. And get this, after everything was done. I felt different. I literally felt like I was a new me. It's hard to explain but quoting Eva Longoria, I felt like Angelina Jolie. I walked out of the outlet, grinning and with a skip in my step. I felt confident, alive and not to mention brave. I had to quell the urge to show off my badge of honour as I like to call it. And I've never looked back. I make it a point to get it done regularly and each time, I feel empowered. Plus, it hurts less the more you go. Like last night, I could hardly feel a thing. I am hardcore! Hehehe.
Oh, my cousin felt the same way too and now she can't wait for her next time. Am I good or what? I should SO focus on world domination. Well, it's not like I've not thought about it *wink-wink*
*phrases stolen from my boys' compositions. It was a mad rush to mark their compos and return it to them to revise over the weekend. Eurgh.
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