I was speaking to my HE class about Courage. I shared this quote with them, "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." I proceeded to share with them my greatest fear - meeting new people / making friends etc. This is true. I have no need to increase my social circle and to put myself out there for people to judge me. I do not want to go through the whole dance of getting to know someone and trusting them and being afraid that they may turn around and hurt me. I have loyalty issues, yes.
So this kid comes up to me during recess and proceeds to ask me a very personal question. Not many teachers or adults for that matter, will approve of his courage but I am like no other and I am glad that my kids feel comfortable enough with me to question me.
I digress. I am paraphrasing. He questioned if I had had bad experiences with boys / males in the past. If I did, that would explain why I seem to have a strong dislike for boys. I was stunned. He left me speechless. All I could think of was boy, was this kid spot on. I felt very vulnerable, all of a sudden.
I asked him, in return, where was all of that coming from? What made him think of that? It was random and very personal. He shrugged and said that that was the vibe he got from what I was saying in class. "Holy shit" were my next thoughts. I'm getting psychoanalyzed by a P5 kid!! I didn't not enjoy it but it did leave me wondering what other vibes I give off unknowingly.
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