Good Feeling; I Need You Just A Little Longer

What surprises me the most is that you call me one of your good friends, your sister even and yet you don't tell me anything. You choose to tell her. I'm not full of myself but you'd rather her advice over mine? She's made some pretty bad decisions, most of which you are aware of and yet you go to her for advice.

I understood when she came to you and confessed all. I already had guessed what she had done, so when she did tell me, I wasn't the least bit surprised. What bums me is that you went to her FIRST and sought for her FIRST. You tell me how she's immature and although I am younger, I am far more sound than she is. Yet, you tell her all this personal shit that's happening to you and I still am not aware of what they are. What really irks me is how she is all, "I have to tell you about this and that before she returns. I don't want you saying something that might upset her."

WTF. WHAT THE FUCK! So this personal shit is something that you can discuss with her and she somehow has the authority and the gall (if I might add) to dish out this vital piece of information. Bitch, please. Get off your high horse. You must feel SO empowered that she's confided in you. Yes, I AM ANGRY. Loyalty is a huge deal to me and right now I feel like my 2 closest girlfriends have left me stranded. They are both opening up to one another and I am no longer part of this. Their excuse? I always seem so busy and they don't want to disturb me.

Bullshit. I just want to scream at the both of them. They're both older than me and yet they're so immature. One thinks she's wiser than everyone else and dishes out advice on love and relationship when her own is falling apart. Wait. My mistake. It's the both of them. They're constantly judging the guys I go out with and are always interested to know every detail of my dating life and yet they let their own relationship go awry. There's a word... right on the tip of my tongue... what is it... IRONY.

It's heart-wrenching, really. Part of me feels for me - I feel unloved and not needed and the other part of me feels for the other 2. The older, wiser one seems like she's living vicariously through the younger person's life and relishes in the drama in her life. When told of the supposed scandal, she did not advice nor scold (which I did) but in fact supported her and brainwashed her into thinking that it's in fact not her fault. She's the victim in the story. Trust me on this, she let it happen to herself. Classic textbook scenario of getting what she needs from someone else who was willing to provide for what she needed. Even if it was momentary. And the younger of the two, well she prides in being the listening ear and sympathising friend. In fact, she is just inquisitive. She loves listening to people's stories, without adding any useful input of her own. Even her comments and responses are quite child-like (not childish) and she passes them off as advice.

I am just bruised and I am hurting. A lot. I love them still; it's just that I guess I must detach myself from them to avoid getting hurt again.