Cat and Mouse

I love that song but this post isn't about it.

Today, another colleague approached me and asked if everything's alright with me. Her remark did take me by surprise because I was having a slightly above average day. Nothing bothered me that much. That, and she's not the first to have asked me that, believe it or not! Now that surprised me tremendously. I mean, I was having a rough semester; I was nearing the brink of a meltdown / nervous breakdown and these colleagues were there for me during my ordeal. Now that all of that drama is over, I feel somewhat at ease; like a burden's lifted but I am still not happy, you know?

The irony is, I am aware of my unhappiness but I am unaware of its cause. I do know it is work related though. Other than that...

I am not happy with the environment I am working in, to be completely honest with you. I still do not feel like I've fit in or settled in with the system. I love my colleagues (just a few of them) but that's not enough. I am tired and have reached the point where I ask myself, "Who have I become?"

I find myself chasing a dream in a place that makes it difficult for me to achieve my dream. I feel stifled and controlled... cue I Want to Break Free...

The clock's ticking and I have yet to make a decision.